In the Blink of an Eye

With holiday season upon us, I am always amazed at how much time and effort goes into the preparation and quickly the moment passes. It might take me several hours of shopping, wrapping and decorating to create a beautiful scene around the Christmas tree. It takes mere moments for it all to become a heap of ripped paper and bows. And as I celebrate 20th birthday of my middle child, I am reminded that kids grow up almost as quickly. It really is just a blink of the eye. . . 

Hunger Games vs Black Friday

Like most people, my Facebook feed has been blowing up with opinions about Black Friday. We love it or we hate it. Many of us are tired of hearing about it. Also this past week, I went to see the latest edition of Hunger Games - Catching Fire. Somewhere between sleeping and waking, the two crossed in my mind and the following list emerged.

Hunger Games vs Black Friday            

• Orchestrated by high-powered politicians who will never participate in the games . . . Controlled by high-powered executives who will never go shopping on Black Friday.


• Purpose of games is to control and exert authority over poor and powerless masses  . . . Purpose to  control and exert authority over how the poor and powerless spend their money and spend their Thanksgiving holiday


• Participants are chosen from the “weakest and vulnerable” population and have no choice but to participate . . . Participants are those who have little money but want to provide the latest and best gifts for their family. There is a perception of having little choice but to participate


• Those who aren’t participating watch the games on big screens and make commentary and judgments about those who participate. . . Those who aren’t participating watch the games on big screens and make commentary and judgments about those who participate.


• No one wins in the end, the cycle continues and innocent children lose their lives . . . No one really wins in the end, the cycle continues and innocent children get great gifts for Christmas. 

Surviving Thanksgiving

In a world of Martha Stewart, Rachel Ray and Pinterest, we often find ourselves hoping to survive rather than enjoy the holidays. As the mom of kids who no longer live full time at my house, these holidays can be even more stressful. We hardly see our adult children if they live or go to school far away. And for Thanksgiving, they come, they eat, they pack up and they are gone. Or due to work schedules (stupid black Friday) or significant other responsibilities (inlaws!), they might not even come home for Thanksgiving. So how do we survive this holiday? And better question, how do we enjoy it?

Keep it Simple 

We don't need to cook the newest recipe or decorate with the cutest thing we found on Pinterest. I've discovered my kids prefer the old traditional basics. They want Mom's potatoes and Mom's stuffing, not Martha's or Rachel's

Be Flexible

With our broken/blended family, there are lots of people who want to see my kids. I have told my kids I don't share very well, but in the end, I know its important they spend time with their dad. Thankfully, we have worked out a system that currently seems to be working. But I know it will change when our kids get attached to other families and when grandchildren are added to the mix. Sometimes, my kids get lucky and have two Thanksgiving dinners, who says you can't serve Turkey and dressing on a Sunday rather than a Thursday.

Be Creative

I live far away from my parents. So when I divorced, I found myself alone for a portion of every holiday. I will be the first to admit I hated those holidays. One of which was spent at the Veterinary Emergency Room when our dog decided to share our Christmas chocolates. I quickly learned to find other things to do I enjoyed. When the kids are with their dad, I spent time with friends, some years I slept and now I get some quiet alone time with my new husband.

Remember the Important Things

When the dishes are empty and the refrigerator is full of leftovers, the important thing will be the time spent with family. The best memories are shared laughter after a candy fight at the table and games played together with fully bellies. Nothing makes my heart more content than seeing my 3 kids getting along and enjoying each others' company. Those moments are the ones I store in my heart and thank God for when they are gone.

This Thanksgiving will be different for us. My oldest daughter isn't coming home. She is staying at her house to spend the day with her boyfriend's family. I'll miss her but I know she will be home for Christmas. And we will text, phone or IM at some point during the day. In the end, she's still my girl and still part of this ever-changing family.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Cure for What Ails You - Kittens!

The past month has definitely full of stress. It began with my Dad being hospitalized, a flat tire and has ended with a full plate at work and at home. Not to mention the holidays are right around the corner. I have felt like a tightly wound spring just waiting to be sprung. So when my friend Linda invited me to visit her porch full of kittens, I couldn't resist. Because I have discovered the cure for whatever ails you, is, of course, kittens.

And because the life is full of stress but kittens grow up, I have created a video so that we can all partake of Kitty Therapy any time we need. Watch as needed when symptoms are present. Possible side effects of cuteness overload and a desire to adopt a kitten from a local shelter. Viewing too many pictures of kittens can be a gateway to "Cat Lady" syndrome. Viewer beware.

Crowing Hens: The Story Before the Blog

The story behind the blog title. I was assigned to tell a story in digital form. This is the result. Grandma was full of sayings and superstitions. I enjoyed remembering her fondly and also my little hen, Henrietta.

That's What a Crowing Hen says. . .

The other day I was helping my son set up his new phone. He was doing the technical work, I was just reading the numbers he needed to punch into his phone.

"Now, type hashtag 1 2 3 hashtag." I said quite confident I'd called the # symbol the correct way. For the life of me I couldn't remember the word "pound" at that moment.

No response, so I turned my head to see if he was paying attention. Then I saw the smirk on his face and his headshaking.

"What? Did I say it wrong? Or do you just find it funny to hear your mother say hashtag?"

He puts down his head and shakes it slowly, I know he is just trying to keep me from seeing his eyes rolling and controlling his desire to giggle.

Nothing makes me feel older than when my kids laugh at my use of modern language. I guess it's a little like hearing a hen crow.

Welcome to the Sandwich Generation!

Welcome to the Sandwich Generation Cafe!

According to Pew Social Trends, nearly 50% of adults ages 40-50 are part of the Sandwich Generation. This is the group of us who have both aging parents and children under the age of 18 at home.  I am a member of this not so elite group and have created a special menu for all you who feel caught in the middle. 

B.L.T.N - "The Better Late than Never" Classic sandwich best served when overwhelmed by the needs of many and when deadlines have to be stretched. Served with a side guilt and regret. 

Grilled Cheese - For those times when we are "grilled" by our children about not answering our phones whenever they call. The assumption is we have no life except to always be available for their needs. This is served with a special side of "I have no life" slaw. 

Open Facebook Melt - A specialty sandwich for those who are Facebook friends with both their parents and their children. Special care must always be taken to not post anything the would shock your Mother or embarrass your kids. 

The Everything Burger - For those who try to do everything, this burger stretches your limits. It includes being a mom, a daughter, a chef, a maid, a nurse, a taxi driver, and many other hats. This is served with a side of exhaustion fries. 

On the Run Sub - This sandwich is for the days when there is no time to eat or sleep or even sit still for a few minutes. It is always served "to go" and is often consumed behind the wheel. Served with a side of road rage and speed traps. 

Do you have any special requests? Are you part of the sandwich generation? What kind of sandwich would you create?  Please leave your comments and join us at the Sandwich Generation Cafe! 

Egg Dropping

When I was in junior high, we dropped eggs from the roof of our school for a science project. The point of the exercise wasn't to observe splash patterns of eggs breaking on concrete, we were given the task of creating a safe way for our eggs to travel from the roof to the ground. My dad helped me create my egg carrier with a box, toothpicks and rubber bands. Dad was an aeronautical engineer, I had no doubt my egg would survive. It did. 

The other day, in a round about way, I was reminded of this egg drop project. My son, Taylor, woke me up from a sound if short sleep to inform me his iphone had been stolen. Taylor lives at home and commutes to a college campus in the heart of Pittsburgh. On Monday nights, he has a night class and takes the bus home afterwards. It has always made me nervous thinking about my little boy (he's about to turn 20) coming home late at night (9:30) on the bus. The bus stop is just a few blocks from campus and he only has to take one bus to reach our neighbor. The first night he did this I waited up for him and worried the entire time he would miss his bus and be stuck in town all night long.

This week while he waited for the bus, two young men approached him. They chatted with him for a minute and then asked if one of them could use his phone to call his mom. It wasn't long before the phone and one of the young men were running down the street. Taylor started to follow but wisely came to the decision that the phone was a loss and it wasn't worth risking anything else. He tells his side of the story well in his blog. And so he came home woke up his old mom (I obviously stopped waiting up for him) so we could suspend service on his line. I will admit, I wasn't very happy with my kind-hearted son that evening.  I really wanted to smack the boy upside the head. 

And I realized that parenting young adult children is alot like the egg drop experiment. You do your best to prepare and protect your "egg" but when they drop off the roof, you can't do anything else to keep it safe. If it's going to crack, it's going to crack. And I'm not sure I like this feeling.

Photo credit

In the end, I am proud of my little boy egg who looks to help others rather than protect his possessions. Mostly, I'm glad he came home with no cracks and not missing any yolk. 

Standing Out in the Cold

I'm a lazy dieter. It's not for lack of motivation. My risk for Type 2 Diabetes is more about when not if. And it's not about lack of knowledge. I have been a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers since I was 9 (pure truth). I have been losing weight for more than 30 years. Not much has changed, the basics are still the same, less food, more exercise.

But remember, I said I was a lazy dieter. It's hard to exercise and be lazy. Well, maybe not. The point of exercise in any diet is to burn more calories than you take in. So for those you who share my lack athletic enjoyment I found some creative ways to burn calories.

1. Stand Up - standing up for 3 hours a day burns as many calories as running 10 marathons. I sit all day in front of a computer, it's no wonder the pounds are creeping on. Maybe I can get a standing desk or maybe make my own.
2. Stay Chilly -  When you're cold your body works harder to maintain your temperature, and burns more calories. Ok, this might be a bit of a scientific stretch but it can make me feel a little better while I'm scraping the ice off my car windows. Maybe there is a reason to like the Pittsburgh winters. 
3. Laugh Lots - Laughing for 10 to 15 minutes can burn 40 calories. It's time to DVR all my favorite sitcoms and laugh my tail off, literally. 
4. Shop - Any kind of shopping will do. Though I think taking a 15 year old girl shopping for a Homecoming dress shouldn't be included in a discussion of lazy ways to burn calories. And extra calories should be given for any shopping done on Black Friday.
5. Clean - This of course is also done as a last resort and really would be better accomplished with hiring a housekeeper and supervising. But, of course, that might defeat the purpose of the exercise. 

Researching these has been hard work, I just checked, lo and behold, typing on a computer for one hour burns 40 calories. Now I think I'm set especially if I stand up and turn the thermostat down! 

Where, Oh Where has my Metabolism Gone?

Where, Oh where has my metabolism gone? 

Oh where, oh where could it be? 

When I could eat to my heart's content,

And never a pound would I see! 

- to be sung to the tune "Where, Oh Where has my Little Dog Gone."

We all know the day will come when we can no longer eat the way we did as a young person, but it doesn't make the reality any easier to cope with. I'm the first to admit my metabolism was never an overactive puppy, but it was predictable and loyal. We functioned well together and I understood its quirks and deficiencies. 

Sure, there were days I wished for a greyhound-like metabolism. When I joined my first husband in nightly visits with Ben and Jerry, he maintained his 28 inch waist, I gained 20 pounds. Just smelling chocolate would put pounds on my hips. But really, now just one sniff goes on my hips, my chin, my thighs, my stomach. What happened to that predictable companion I counted on for so long?  

The problem is my metabolism has become one lazy ol' dog. And my life has changed. I went from an active stay-at home mom to working a full time desk job. These days I sit in front of a computer screen all day.  With only one kid at home full time, I no longer run from one activity to another in the evening. There isn't much kicking me or my metabolism in the butt, we have grown complacent. 

Obviously, the damage has been done. The reality is here and it's time to get to know this new thing in my life. Get ready, you lazy ol' beast, you will be learning some new tricks! 

Photo Credit

Whistling Girls and Crowing Hens

As a kid, my Grandmother chided me with the saying, "Whistling girls and crowing hens always come to some bad end." She had been raised that proper young girls didn't learn to whistle. I enjoyed whistling and wasn't going let a silly saying stop me.

I found out later there is some truth in the saying. We owned a hen who late in life began crowing. Henrietta began crowing one week and died the next. I remember seeing Henrietta crowing in the chicken yard. She strutted proudly and seemed proud of her new found voice.

As a middle-aged woman, I'm faced with many challenges and lots of changes. It often feels like the rules have changed and no one asked me. My kids are flying out of the nest, my body has more aches and pains, losing weight is harder, gaining weight is easier. Sometimes I don't feel like I have say in anything.

But I'm reminded of Henrietta who found a reason to crow and broke all the rules to do so. This blog is a celebration of women who aren't done with life but are learning to look at things differently. We don't have to be proper women anymore than I wanted to be a proper little girl. We can crow about the good and the bad. We can make our voices heard and face the new rules with our heads held high.

My name is Fara, I'm a 45 year old mom of 3. My oldest is 21 and living out on her own. My son is 19 and in college. My youngest daughter is 15 and still at home. I'm a newlywed of 10 months with my second husband, Tony. I've been a stay at home mom, a single parent, and a working mom. Even though I've known some hard times, I have always looked for ways to laugh.

Join me as I laugh, learn and exercise my new voice! Come crow with me!

Fara

"Whistling girls and crowing hens 

always come to some bad end."

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/thomashawk/8144560007/">Thomas Hawk</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a